I have been thinking lately about the process of attachment with twins. Thinking about how object relations come into play with twins. Such that, if I had a single baby, I would probably feel more guilty about setting the baby down to play by himself. However, having two, I always feel that they are happy to plop down and "play" together. They do have their alone time too, but I tend to always assume they want to be together. This really is the amazing side to me of twins. They will have each other throughout their childhood. A constant companion. Someone who always gets it. I just love watching them grow together and interact more each day.
Yet it nags at me that maybe I would pick them up more if they were singletons. I catch so few breaks so that now they have longer periods of contentment, I rely on having them play together to get some things done. Sometimes I wonder, "Do they want their mommy or do they want each other?" What do they make of those relationships and do they get that they will always have to share? I suppose it is the constant guilt that is there for mothers with more than one child, the juggle and balancing act of giving each one their fair share of attention.
Sarongs from Thailand added
8 months ago
I, too, feel guilty about how little I hold my kids compared to what I imagine I would do if I had one baby. To be honest, I avoid picking them up so that I'm not stuck with one (how awful does that sound!) and then the other one needs me. I like to keep my arms open for really dire situations - you know, ouchies, toy fights, trips to the changing station, etc. I guess its all just part of being a twin and being a twin momma.
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