Sunday, November 29, 2009

ok, I admit this is hard right now

So re-reading some of my posts makes me think I am sounding much peppier than the reality that is my life right now. I think something happened recently after our return trip from the east coast. I just can't seem to catch up. We had a baptism for J&W and I have scare pictures to show for it. Their three month birthday came and went, no new pics to show for it. And that was Thanksgiving day no less, where they wore these cute matching velor suits. Yep I am definitely sucking in the picture-taking department. So enter my complaints:
1) Return to work (2 night shifts), which means previous sporadic sleep is now compounded with serious lack of sleep.
2) (under the return to work category) seem to be struggling with milk supply. My pumping output overnight is about 10oz when the boys pound through about 24 when I am gone. I know any milk I give is beneficial, but it is hard to not be discouraged with those numbers in my face. Compounded by non-stop nursing when I get home making me feel like I don't have enough to satisfy them.
3) My house. It just makes me go nuts. All day my daughter takes it apart piece by piece. And that assumes it was "together" to begin with. I feel like I lost about 600sq ft once the twins arrived, with all the swings, bouncers, etc. along with the fact that I spend most of the day rooted to the couch breastfeeding, it is looking a bit restrictive. That is where the change of scene at work is welcomed.

So anyway, just a bit tired and needing to remind myself more often than not, that these precious days will soon be over and I will likely be missing that which is now driving me nuts.

5 comments:

  1. Well hi! I came via your comment on Buried With Children. I think you're doing an amazing job! From delivering breech twins vaginally to breastfeeding two little cherubs, you're doing so well!

    I hope the milk supply increases, but if it doesn't, I hope that you're cool with other feeding options and don't get hassle from other people.

    And I understand the frustrations about the house. It can really get me down when my place gets taken apart after I spend time and effort making it presentable. Gah.

    Hang in there, and give those little babes a kiss on the cheek!

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  2. I have to say that you are right. My days of infants are long gone and you know what, I miss them terribly. But I think that you have to be out of them to miss them. Make sense?

    Hang in there.

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  3. You are my hero Jess! I think about you and the struggle you must endure each day and wonder how you do it. I know of no other mom who has the pressure that you have right now and you are doing amazingly well. You will have control over your life again and it will all be worth it. In a year or so your Gwennie and the 2 little guys will be playing together and will be so much easier to handle. Boys are really easy and fun after about a year. Okay, so you'll still have lots of messes and chaos, but at least you'll have more time and energy to pick up behind them. For now cut yourself some slack. Love you!

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  4. Good one on Twinning Boys and it helps a lot.

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  5. It IS hard!!! 3-5 months was really challenging for me, mostly because of very fractured sleep and nursing round the clock (but feeling like I should have mastered all that by now). I had supply issues too (with my singleton as well) and wanted to nurse them as often as I could, while also juggling supplementing. HARD! And taking care of a toddler taboot is such a challenge!

    One of my early mantras was that with twins, everything takes twice as long. Figuring out sleep/feeding/scheduling, being able to tackle meals/housecleaning/outings, everything. Don't let yourself compare this to when you just had one baby, or to anyone who don't have twins. And yes, this will pass! Things have gotten significantly easier as time goes by. You will get there too!

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