Sunday, August 2, 2009

"Natural twins do really well"

On Wednesday I had my first non-stress test that I now have weekly. It is more simple than I had thought, after friends advised me that NST's involved pushing a button every time you felt a movement. I wondered how accurate I could plot both TwinA and TwinB. In the end, they just had to strap on fetal monitors and look for two heart accelerations. Both twins did fine, it was just a matter of getting them to be cooperative enough to stay put to track the hearts. Took an hour total, but I had a nice engrossing Steven King book.

At the end, the nurse who had been friendly said, "They look great. Natural twins always do really well." Knowing that in fact there is no evidience that supports such a claim, I was a bit startled by this statement and said, "Really?" She said, "Yes, there is a reason your body produced two babies."

Being on a few twin forums, I am a bit sensitized to how offensive this would be to a mother pregnant with twins or multiples due to use of fertility drugs. Even though my twins were spontaneous, I have been asked several times if drugs were used or more often the passive, "Do they run in the family?" I find these questions awkward to answer without having the personal struggle of infertility in my history. Had I been in a position that I sought the use of medical intervention to assist with having a child, I know I would be constantly floored by these questions by their intrusiveness. It is one thing when a personal friend asks--which a few have--but quite another when they are strangers or distant acquaintances. Some people will make off-hand comments to me as well, like "It seems like everyone is having twins these days..." It is true the rate of multiples has increased with medical interventions available, but it isn't like people go seeking them. Every pregnancy that results in multiples was a couple seeking a child--singular. Even if the couple or mother desired twins or more, they are simply not something that can be ordered up. Multiples are miracles, regardless of their path to development, and all children are "natural."

1 comment:

  1. I'm shocked that a nurse would say that. I definitely had nurses ask "how" i ended up with twins but they were polite enough not to make any disparaging comments. And I find it quite unfair that anyone, esp. someone in the medical field, would judge a person because of their infertility. I may have ended up with twins because of IVF but there was no guarantee that both embryos would take. That part is a miracle so who is to say that I wasn't "meant" to have twins??? Just like natural twins, my body accepted both embryos for a reason. At least that's how I see it.

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