I keep re-reading my first blog entry here. It is so revealing to me. My initial clinging to what feels like the safety of modern medicine and now my early third-trimester reaction swinging back to a more holistic approach.
Having twins is scary, for so many reasons. But I have never worried about the reality of juggling care x2 for newborns. Probably that is denial helping me along. I find gestation more anxiety-provoking. I feel the movements now, and it reassuring. I get monthly ultrasounds, which are fun for the added peeks inside. But mostly I feel in the dark about what is going on.
For now, perhaps appropriately so, my preoccupations are all about the present state of health & growth for my twins and planning for the exit stages.
I have been reading more about inducing twins at approximately 38 weeks per policy. The more I read and speak to other mom's on various twin forums, the more I want to experience going into labor naturally again. Having had an almost picture perfect delivery with my first, I want that now to be repeated. Most reading I have done points to a lot of benefit toward allowing babies to be born vaginally without induction.
But I know my OB will not budge on this point, citing a larger systemic policy. I knew that when I began my road to this point with him. I know what I have signed up for. Although I have had a complication-free pregnancy, until the babies are born, we are really not out of the woods yet. In my third trimester, I would not switch practitioners. I would rather follow this protocol despite my reservations than jump ship and begin with someone new.
Yet I can see it will dwell in my mind going forward. These twins were given to my husband and I out of the clear blue--why not assume that they could arrive perfectly and naturally? Why put myself at the mercy of medical practitioners when all of the OB/GYN MD lit articles I am reading provide not only contractions in risks/benefits of inducing twins, but a startling consensus that there is not enough research done to say for sure what the optimal delivery time is for an uncomplicated twin pregnancy?
I have to ask these questions and find a sense of understanding where the medical community is coming from. I have read a few articles I will discuss more in-depth in future entries that make my head spin. One made me cry out to my husband a few nights ago, "Now I am scared to let the twins go PAST 37 weeks!" To which he advised me to put the articles down, and back away from the abstract.
And I will, once I am finished with the conclusions.
8 years ago